TKO Creations

Well, I supposedly AM supposed to provide more content to the blog.

Quick update for the few who don’t know, I’ve been in observation since Thursday morning due to lingering sciatica that I started having in late May.  There had been some minor procedures to try and combat the inflammation until this most recent visit, but nothing concrete.

Finally, after poor sleep and eating over four days, and needing to be taken by ambulance for severe chills, my condition was stabilized and I at long last have a conclusive answer now that earlier X-rays found no degenerative effects and an MRI confirmed just what was out of place.

My Physical Therapist was REAL close (she suspected an L5 herniation), it turned out to be an S1 protrusion pinching the sciatic nerve (just one disc down), and likely the root cause of the inflammation in the tendons along my inner leg as well.  In theory, at some point today, I’ll have a nerve root block performed that will finally reduce the swelling of the nerve, and allow me to continue the physical exercises and allow the disc to heal normally.

It’s a fairly routine procedure that should not require surgery, and I should make a full recovery as long as I don’t anything stupid with myself.  Cross your fingers folks, because fortunately I don’t think I need any prayers.

I know it might seem odd, considering how I don’t consider myself a “funny” guy, and how my writing style isn’t always what would be considered intentionally comedic, but nonetheless, the passing of Robin Williams (by apparent suicide) was one that got to me… because of how it struck a cord within myself and how I reached the point I’m at today.

I want to lead off with an article written by David Wong at cracked.com: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/robin-williams-why-funny-people-kill-themselves/

For a tl;dr version; you see our “funniest” celebrities find their end in this sort of fashion for a reason.  The funny guy is a mask to hide the parts of themselves they don’t want the public to see, it’s the wall they’ve constructed to keep the world from seeing the “real” them, and that “real” them is a very tormented person indeed.

This is a feeling I know.  I had been down that road.  I was a class clown through much of High School.  I didn’t care if they were laughing with me or at me.  As long as they were reacting to the exterior, they weren’t poking and prodding at the inner turmoil caused by the mental abuse from my father, and the physical (and at one point sexual) abuse of select peers.

Even now, my initial reaction to a new social situation is to throw on the funny guy mask and ham it up, though its not something I lean on anymore.  I’ve learned it’s a face best used sparingly, to break the ice and not much else.

For that, I have the people who refused to let me use the mask during my twenty-something years, who didn’t let me wave off interactions with them with a joke and a smile.  People who were patient and caring and helped me understand that the sort of people who would be repulsed by the “real me” aren’t the people that deserve the “funny guy” to begin with.

As a result, I might not be the life of the party anymore, but I’m a lot healthier of a person mentally.  I can only credit being incredibly lucky, because I certainly didn’t do anything special to bring those people into my life.

At the same time, it also changed the reason I write.  Up throughout my schooling, writing was my escape; and it reflected in my style with high fantasy and escapism.  Now, my writing is exploring and showing my “real me”, the good and the bad, willingly revealing the dark places I’ve been in and showing the world the smooth finish and the warts.

Because I don’t want to hide behind walls anymore.  I want people to see the whole tapestry, even if it isn’t always pretty.

Much like its predecessor, Book 2 of my series has had it’s permanent price drop to $10.99 (and $5.99 for Kindle and Nook versions).  If you were waiting for this moment, now’s your opportunity!

Yeah… I’m walking into a minefield here.  I know.

But maybe I’ll get lucky and it’ll blow off my right leg so that I won’t have to deal with it anymore.

So… sexism in our entertainment.  The unfair stereotypes and expectations applied to female characters as opposed to male ones.

And no, I’m not talking about how “hypersexualized” female characters are.  I think we’ve all heard that one.  How the few female leads that occur in our media are set to this impossible standard of beauty.  While that may be true to some extent, the counterpoint (that male characters are just as idealized) that is given isn’t exactly wrong.

Let’s be honest, you don’t see too many frumpy, overweight, balding male protagonists in books, movies, or games.  Our lead characters will generally lean towards a cultural ideal… male or female.

That’s too easy of a discussion that doesn’t require too much introspection as to how we regard the “fairer sex.”  It’s too easy of a debate to dismiss by those who want to avoid the accusation and/or discussion because on that superficial aspect, they’re right.  You’re just arguing about the degree at that point.

And it also becomes too easy of a way for some writers (and this tends to be more true in books) to seem like they are “in touch” with the female audience by creating a character and describing them as “plain” or “average”… all the while shaping a story setting in which they are most demonstrably not.

There’s nothing wrong with having an attractive character.  That isn’t sexist in and of itself.  But it’s the lowest common denominator for people to have the debate without actually having to confront anything that might truly require people to actually think.

What I think the debate should be is how female characters are viewed by the audience (and this is something that men and women have been observed to be guilty of).  Simply put, it doesn’t matter how effective the female character is, it doesn’t matter how good she is at her job, what she accomplished… the first question that tends to pop up is, “Is she hot or not?”

And even as I look at that previous paragraph, that doesn’t really do the debate justice either.  Because it’s not something that can be “simply put.”  Because it’s not that the audience dismisses what the female character does.  It’s not that don’t appreciate the character’s actions and the story and her inner workings.  It’s that the female character’s appearance tends to be the “top of the mind” thought that simply doesn’t happen with male characters.

I’m going to use an example in video games (simply because this was an example in the discussion I had last night that prompted this essay today).  In the Uncharted series, you have the character Nathan Drake, who is pretty much the stylized, idealized male protagonist that is in overabundance in gaming.  He is pretty much every male hero stereotype out there squeezed into one; rugged good looks, stoic yet with moments of intense emotion to show how “deep” he is underneath the shell, physically fit and strong, excellent combatant, troubled past… I think you get the picture.  As odd as it may sound to say someone so adept would be “average”… he’s the perfectly average male hero.

When you ask someone about his character, what tends to be the first sentence?  Some variant of “He’s cool” or “He’s a badass”?  That’s my experience.

Now, let’s examine the case of Bayonetta, the titular witch of the game of the same name.  Another pretty deep character, troubled past, fighter, very reserved yet with those moments where the wall cracks slightly… she’s the same sort of character deep down.

But what is the first thing you hear when you ask someone about her?  In my findings it tends to be either, “She’s hot” or a bit of a pause before they find something else to say.  While some may claim it’s unfair to judge based on what isn’t said, I feel rather confident that I know exactly what that first thought was.

Now make no mistake, these same people will almost always follow up with reams of pertinent material to these characters that don’t have anything to do with physical appearance.  Nor is it uniformly true (there will always be exceptions in both cases).  But it’s that initial thought, that preliminary value judgment, where I think the heart of sexism in our entertainment flourishes.

Female characters seem inexorably attached to that physical ideal far more often than male characters are, even though both have a tendency to follow those ideals.  It’s a problem I myself have struggled with in my writings.  Sure, I have my “plain” female characters like Fiona, but she and others like her are only secondary characters.  My main female protagonists, like Rumil and Amanda and Talia (though the latter thinks she’s very plain), all are either reasonably or incredibly attractive.

Yet, I don’t think that‘s the problem.  For example, Amanda has absolutely no problems with her appearance and sexuality.  She knows she’s desirable, and doesn’t pretend otherwise.  But she refuses to let that define her, and does her best to not be bothered when others do (though not always successfully).  Maybe that’s the ticket.  Or maybe I’m just fooling myself.

Sure, the advertisement and market of our entertainment doesn’t help (how many female leads are inevitably immortalized on posters and flyers via butt or full figure shots after all), but I think that’s just a symptom that feeds off the prejudice that’s already there.  So how do we fight it?

Well, as content creators, what we can do is create characters that don’t have their “pretty” or “sexy” looks commented on every chapter or scene.  Heads don’t have to turn every time the character appears (the world doesn’t lack cute girls, folks… most men settle on a cursory glance before going on with their day, just sayin’).  Your first shot of the female lead doesn’t always have to be of her butt or her breasts as she’s coming out of a pool or entering through the doorway.

And I know that’s not always the case.  But those sort of “look at her” moments are frequent enough to reinforce that the audience is supposed to focus first and foremost on the character’s appearance.  Maybe we, as content creators, need to be more aware of this, and actively fight against it.

I know I’ll try.  Hopefully I’ll succeed.

Nerve pain tends to make everything a slow slog, but I’ve finally managed to complete the first draft of the The Tower of Kartage manuscript.  The good news is that’s the hard part for me.  The bad news is now I’m at the mercy of others editing, revising, and adding the artwork before my job starts up again.

Well, at least it’s bad for me.  I don’t like twiddling my thumbs.

Anyway, I’ll try to update soon.

Yes… I know I say that every time, and rarely, if ever do.

Well, JAFAX had been an overall positive experience… I even made a handful of sales and met some intriguing people (like fellow author Tracy Falbe, check her stuff out at http://www.falbepublishing.com/braveluck/index.html).  I’ve also learned that Fred is being invited to Youmacon again this year, and I suspect I’ll be tagging along again as well.

However, I also seem to be having back issues, which hopefully won’t prove to be serious (I won’t really know more until I can meet with my physician in July), but it seems like I have a bulging disk causing the pain in my right leg.  Here’s keeping my fingers crossed.

I’d cross my toes as well, but that would probably hurt too much.

Whelp, the 19th edition of JAFAX in Allendale, Michigan tips off in three weeks.  It’s not the biggest, most spectacular con, but it’s one nearby to me, and a good place to peddle my wares and talents.

So if you find yourself in the West Michigan area June 21 and/or 22, drop by.  It’s a “free” con, so you don’t even have to pay any admission charges!

And now, watch me drop into complete radio silence for the next three weeks.  Yes, I know I promised I’d try to better at this.

Alright folks… as some of you know, I’ve been working on a project alongside the MegaTokyo Visual Novel, but I’ve been pretty coy about exactly WHAT that project is.  Well, now I can get into a bit more detail.

Discussing the entire light novel project earlier this year, it got a wee bit of a revamp.  Fred Gallagher and I decided to shift the focus on it, to create an Endgames series that didn’t require a ton of knowledge about the MegaTokyo comic.  And so that’s what I’ve been doing… the first of several light novels; this one featuring the plucky Pirogoeth’s early years as a mage’s apprentice.

I, of all people, actually like how it’s shaping up.  And I’m sure many of you know how difficult I am to please myself.

When will it be available, or a preview?  That… I dunno.  The first manuscript is going very smoothly… but I know myself far too well to expect it will stay that way.  I’ll just have to keep you all updated.

Thanks a bunch for listening folks.

My projects continue to move forward.  Still not much I can say about them.  Hoping that will change soon.

I dunno… I feel like I gotta say something.  Even when I have nothing to say.

Self promotion is hard.

(Via Exiern)

Hello again.

I suspect this latest page is going to get a bit of discussion going, so let me add a little fuel to this little bonfire.

There were four distinct resolutions I considered as I plotted out exactly where this went.

1) The path they eventually decided to take, with the shaman taking the infamy of what happened to “protect” what was being built of barbarian society.  It’s inherent problem should be obvious… the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  It only works as long as the public remains ignorant of what really happened.  But how would said public ever learn the truth?  The evidence is being disposed of pretty well, and anything that is found can be pretty easy be pinned on Sturm.  It’s not like there’s anyone with the power to see through the veil of time, who has even better natural talent with the vision magic Sturm poss… oh.

2) Exiling Sturm for his “crimes.”  It follows the same problem as the first… with the additional problem that exiling such an elderly man would potentially be seen as cruel (a quick execution being seen as more merciful than a slow death at the hands of the Wild North) and perhaps even showing a hint of weakness to be unable to simply end the problem face to face.

3) Facing the truth head on.  While the “honorable” solution, it’s one of the most potentially disastrous.  Tensions among the tribes are very high.  Wyll’s been running a tightrope just to keep them all on the same page.  To learn that the Matron had not only tried to kill Wyll-Line, but also sought to preserve the Ash Tribe’s old way would very likely result in a civil war… a civil war that would likewise end any hope of a peace treaty with the Rus.  The threat of the entire Wild North erupting into a bloody conflict is a very real possibility.  Could it be much ado about nothing?  Could the better parts of barbarian society stifle the dissent before it got to that point?  Maybe… but my experience with human history tells me that would be fairly unprecedented.  Would that be a risk you would be willing to take with so much at stake?

4) (This one was one that I actually entertained up until I actually scripted this page… and you can tell from the previous one) Peonie intervenes, and offers the support of the Grand Luminary Alliance to help Wyll-Line squash any potential uprising that would occur by declaring the truth of the matter.  But… Lord oh Lord, would that be a powder keg when you think about it.  The problem here is one of perception… no matter how noble your intentions, when you impose yourself on matters that do not directly involve you, the response from the parties involved tend to be resentment.  Try it sometime when you see an argument… go ahead, butt in with a solution.  Watch as both sides don’t take kindly to your interference.  A similar problem would face Alliance interests… they would not be seen as keeping the peace; they would be seen by a great many as an invader, a foreign entity occupying their native land.  While not as bloody as a civil war, it would have a prolonged effect on any attempts to a long-term stable region.

When I write these sort of “moral” conundrums, one thing I don’t ask myself is, “Which one is the best option in the long run?”  I don’t particularly like that question, because it assumes that the characters involved both know the circumstances, and have the foresight to see the consequences of their actions.

Instead, I ask, “What would this character do?”  And sometimes, that isn’t the best choice.  Sometimes we, as people, make the wrong or less ideal choice either because we lack all the information needed or have to hastily make a decision in the available amount of time.  Sometimes there isn’t a “best” choice that can be made to begin with.  And when all come into play at once… well, good luck.

Wyll-Line doesn’t have the time to weigh all his options.  He has to make a fairly hasty decision.  Did he make the right one?  Was there a right choice?  I honestly don’t know… and that’s kinda the “fun” in it.