This may come as a surprise for some, but I have been on three separate situations over the last three election cycles to solicited to consider running for public office. On all three occasions, my answer has been pretty much the same.
“I have far too much contempt for the American people to be an effective politician.”
And during and in the aftermath of last night’s Presidential “Debate,” that contempt flared to its global maximum. So buckle up, buttercups, because we’re about to go on a ride.
Firstly, the debate itself; featuring an 81-year-old man (presumably with a cold, but guess how many fucks I give about that?), and a deranged 77-year-old man griping about each other’s golf game by the end. Now, let’s be completely bluntly honest, that’s exactly what the “moderators” wanted, because that’s what we wanted.
Nothing about this debate should have surprised anyone who was paying even the slightest amount of attention in the last three and a half years. News flash; Joe Biden is old, and he has a lifelong stutter. This should not be news to people. This should come as a surprise to exactly no one in the United States. That he struggled to put together enough thoughts in the limited time he was given should have triggered exactly zero hand wringing, because that has been what he’s literally done in every single public presentation he’s had since the turn of the millennium outside of a handful of rare circumstances where everything came together just right.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump spewed bullshit like it was coming from a fire hose. One out of every five words that came out of his mouth was coherent, and of those 20%, one out of every twenty approximated something that wasn’t an outright lie. Again, this should surprise absolutely no one. This was the dude who on an open mic in front of a national TV audience entertained injecting bleach and bathing people in UV light to kill a virus. This is a dude who (again on live television) couldn’t tell Nancy Pelosi and Nikki Haley apart. This is not new. This is precisely who he is.
And yet, in the aftermath, in came the pundits and the American people giddy in their misery and their hatred of both men that they have been willfully putting in this position for the last eight years. Eager, despondent, political mongers tearfully wrung their hands with smiles on their faces as they spoke in stage whispers about “brokered conventions” and “disarray” and how “nobody won.”
Because they finally had the excuse to sound every bit as dramatic as they’ve wanted to be for so very long. They’ve longed for the image of political insiders brokering new candidates in the back rooms of smoky convention centers, because that shit is interesting. That is entertaining, and if there is one thing the American people have demonstrated time and time again is that we would far prefer to be an entertaining society than a functional one.
Which leads into all the low-information bozos who triumphantly went onto social media to bemoan sadly with cries of delight, “These are our choices???!!!??oneoneeleventyone!!$!”
See, Americans don’t want either candidate, you see. They wanted someone vital and strong and not old! How could the political machines be so terrible?
Whether that sentiment is out of cynicism or simple ignorance, I have no patience and no sympathy for anyone expressing it. These are our choices because that is who the people who vote in the primary elections for the last two presidential elections have chosen. It isn’t hard to understand unless you don’t want to understand it. So, that Biden and Trump were on that stage and not [x] or [y], then either we as a society are liars, or we didn’t give a solitary whit when it was time to make that decision.
I really don’t care which it is.
If you refuse to participate in the process, you cede the right to complain about the result. If America only wants to be involved in our political process for a handful of days any given election cycle, we deserve the government we get, and we deserve to get it good and hard.
If you’re one of the cynical political mongers, go sit on a sandpaper dildo and take it for a spin. You are every bit a part of the problem as the political leaders you bemoan in the columns of your God-awful editorials on your atrocious media outlets.
And to the rest, who happily gobble up the bullshit we’re fed because that’s what in truth we want to eat all day and are currently on the ledge because “America is fucked and everything sucks?”
Hurry up and jump already. Put yourselves out of our misery.
I’m out.
TKO Creations 